This is a very late post because of many reasons. I'm only going to name two.
So which do you want to hear? The bad news or good news first?
Let's start with the good shall we?
The good news is.. I'm finally employed! I finally have my own money coming in each week. I have never felt so much accomplishment, self-worth, and empowerment before in my whole life. I feel on top of the world! I've been struggling for months to find work. I would get the interview but never actually get the job. After countless rejections, I finally got given an opportunity to work in the Deli Department of Wabash's only locally owned grocery store. Basically, my job is to clean(and clean and clean), slice meat/cheese for people, and scoop up salads. Easy stuff. The best part is that all of my coworkers are wonderful people. I can honestly say I love my job. I've only been working there a couple months(I started November 22nd) but I can honestly say, so far, I have no complaints. Some days, I'm so anxious just to get to work so I can get away from the stresses I have at home.
Speaking of stresses.. let's talk about the bad news now.
Ryan and I were on the rocks from the end of November until the middle(ish) part of December. As in.. we weren't together anymore until he realized what he had lost and so we started back fresh towards the end of December. I'm not going to go into very much details about that whole situation because it just hurts and I'd prefer not to even mention what all happened. So I'm just going to come out and say eating for me in December was almost non-existent. I ate. Just not near as much as I should have. And it pains me to say my eating disorder behavior came back for a brief time until I stopped giving in once more to that little voice that taunts an eating-disordered person. I lost weight. I was miserable. Working was hard on me during that time frame because I was constantly surrounded by food, but here's the thing.. I did not act on binging/purging or binge eating. I simply just did not eat enough, so I was just constantly weak at work. I went back into my caffeine binges and relied on that while I was working. Not good. But I'm okay now. Eating back in order. I'm also living back over at my grandparent's house. So Ryan and I can take a chill from each other now and then.
So that's what's up with my life for the time being. I'll have even more to talk about at the end of January. For now though, let's recap on what I ate these past two months.
- Lunch @ Moe's with Ryan and Anton. Burrito Bowl(Rice, Black Beans, Tomatoes, Lettuce, Guacamole.)
- Dinner @ Moe's(again) with a friend, for a "feel better" type of thing, since Ryan and I had broken up for that brief amount of time. Burrito Bowl(Rice, Black Beans, Tomatoes, Black Olives, Pico De Gallo, Lettuce, Guacamole.
- Chiptole! Vegan Burrito(Brown Rice, Black Beans, Fiesta Vegetables, Guacamole and Romaine.)
- Thanksgiving Brunch: Spinach Salad with Broccoli, Roll, Sweet Potato Casserole, Green bean Casserole, Corn Casserole, Stuffing.
- Spinach Salad with Salad Fixings(Sunflower Seeds, Dried Cranberries, Pepitas), Raw Carrot, Avocado, Mediterrian Hummus, Fat free Balsamic Vinaigrette with a side of Brown Rice & Quinoa with Garlic.
- Leftovers from Thanksgiving: Sweet Potato Casserole and Rolls.
- Stuffing with Dried Cranberries, Green Beans, and Mashed Potatoes with Mushroom Gravy.
- The Luna Company gave me a free Blueberry Vanilla Luna Fiber Bar for my birthday!
- Decided on continuing to drink more juice, so I got some Bolthouse Farms* Blue Goodness Juice that was on sale over at Kroger.
- Vegan Vanilla Yogurt with Blueberries, Raspberries and Granola.
- Smore's Oatmeal! Steel Cut Oats, Cacao Nibs, Vegan Marshmallows and Lotus* Cookie Spread.
- White Rice with cooked Mushrooms and Yellow Bell Pepper.
- My grandmother made this amazing dish! I don't even know what you would call it? Basically it was just cooked vegetables(potato, carrot, onion, peas) with bread dumpling on top of it. So delicious and vegan! Definitely need to get the recipe and post it on this blog!
- Leftovers from my grandmother's dish.
- .... and more!
- Green Bean Casserole. Vegan style.
- Spaghetti with Prego* Traditional Sauce and Avocado.
- Tea Pigs(tea brand from Europe) Green tea. I got this tea in on of my International Vegan Swaps(really need to do a post about that..)
- You just can't get though the holiday season without Pumpkin Spice Tea!
- Spaghetti with Prego* Traditional Sauce and Garlic Bread.
- Vegan Macaroni & Cheese(accidently added way too much cracked pepper in it, if you can't tell..so I really only ate about 1/2 of that) and cooked Mushrooms/Yellow Bell Pepper.
- Spinach Salad with Red Bell Pepper, Broccoli, Jalapeno Hummus. Sides of: Brown Rice/Quinoa with Garlic, Mashed Butternut Squash, and Green Beans.
- Fiber One* Honey Cluster Cereal with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk.
- Garlic Green beans with Mediterrian Hummus.
- Gravy Bread(White Bread with Mushroom Gravy), Baked Potato and Green Beans.
- Break food of choice: Fiber One* Honey Cluster Cereal with Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk.
- Golden Delicious Apples. Nom!
- Homemade Dried Cherry Muffins with Earth Balance. Amazing discovery in the kitchen. I only ate about 2-3 of them, in a three day span, before my family gobbled the rest up!
And let's not forget the best thing this month! Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Bread! I received this from the vegan swap and just replaced the eggs with a banana. Amazing! I had this last year and will probably continue to get a box, every year, throughout the next few years. I love this bread-especially during the "pumpkin" time of the year.
- Pot Roasted Vegetables. (Potato, Carrot, Onion, Peas.)
- Boca* Spicy Chik'n Patty, Mashed Potatoes with Mushroom Gravy, Steamed Broccoli, Vegan Mac.
- Mashed Potatoes with Corn and a Boca* Spicy Chik'n Patty all mixed together.
- Day After Christmas Dinner @ my Grandparent's: Green Bean Casserole, Corn Casserole, Homemade White Bread(which has more nutritional value then regular white bread) and Mashed Potatoes with Mushroom Gravy.
- Whole Wheat Spaghetti with Prego* Traditional Sauce, Avocado. Garlic Bread.
- Kettle Brand Chips, that Ryan is addicting too, that I helped eat during the month.
- Since I was going through lots of continuous stress, and anxiety during this month.. I decided on drinking this Rebout which combates oxidative stress. I took it at night before going to bed and I definitely noticed that my stress-level had decreased. I got this in a Conscious Box and I had gotten another this month, so I have another one to use whenever I feel like I need another de-stress.
- RIP Collegan+C. I will be getting another one of you, hopefully next month.
- I made up some fun Christmas inspired Vegan Sugar Cookies!
- Nature Valley* Crunchy Oats 'n Dark Chocolate Bars for snackage purposes at work.
- Christmas Dinner @ Ryan's parents: Vegan Mac, Creamed Corn, Baked Beans, and Roll with Earth Balance.
- More snackage @ work: Sample size of The Good Bean* Sea Salted Chickpeas. Love that brand! Two Degree* Chocolate Peanut Bar- best flavor I've tired yet. (Though I've only tried two flavors all together..)
- Chinese Takeout(I was craving it really bad for some odd reason): Fried Vegetable Rice, Vegetable Lo Mein, Cooked Onion/Broccoli/Green Beans/Mushrooms, Fried Corn.
- Sweet & Sour Soup with Tofu.
- Vegetable Soup that Ryan's Grandpa made. Ryan and I tore that up! I lived on that soup for a couple days.
- My grandmother's Homemade White Bread.
Lastly, Beanito's Restaurant-Style White Bean with Sea Salt Chips. Easily the best tortilla chips I have ever eaten. You can eat these with nothing on them, nothing to drip them in, and they are still just perfect! Perfect flavor, crunch, texture. Definitely an awesome find on my part. Plus, my work sells them so easy access for me!